my thoughts

Wok check this shit....

2003-08-07T02:44:06Z

Boo-fucking-ya super guard(Chad Smith)!!! This stupid ass guard test totally made my summer.... check this I got 13 outa 59 on the ranking list and "super guard" got 56 haha and hes the "know-it-all" that thinks hes a supervisor and tells every1 how to do their jobs! ~woo~ that totally makes me happy!
::kid walks on during in the park rotation while Jaynie and I are on top; then runs w/ tube in hand to gravity groove::
Jaynie: "hun how much do you weight?"
Kid: "why?!?!"
Jaynie: "because... I need to know in order for you to go down this slide."
Kid: " ohhh ok... hah that's easy I weigh 10!"
Jaynie: (as she looks at me in confusion) "10 what pounds?!"
Kid: (looking in confidence) "yes that's right!"
Jaynie: (puzzled) " well then you don't weight enough... the min for this slide is 140lbs." (pointing th the slide)
::Celena turns away biting her hand as he move to another slide and helps him proceed down midnight express::
Jaynie: "well that was different!"
Celena: " I know.... he was as tall as he was wide not to mention that he had more roles than a package of Sarah Lee backery fresh rolls!!"
That day was totally funny!!

In other news allman brothers was fucking awsome! I HAVE THE AMY DANCE!

Guys totally suck... especially 1s that think I go out w/ girls instead of them!

Well me out!! Me love most of you~hehe~
xoxoxoxoxo
<333333
Luna

protect me from sharp objects.....

2003-07-03T20:42:12Z

I'm so fed of with guys right now.... Eric blows me off sometimes it seems and its like he doent want to be with me any more.... so I just dont know any longer. But yea I'm confused once again and lifes pritty fucking crapy.

I'm finally done with counceling so I guess I'm all beter now. hah see how long that lasts.

final thought boys=shit!!

summer girls have all the fun.....

2003-07-02T02:30:41Z

Man I'm in this rut for sex haha....I'm such a hornball!! Pap died on the 13(june) I went to harrisburgh to the viewing and funeral.... I chilled w/ the fam and it was cool see all them after so long! I'm sick of children... I'm never having any...EVER! Guys make me realize how much I hate my boobs sometimes..... Someone please tell whats so amusing about boobs?!?!?!
yellowhemp77: i need sex
yellowhemp77: lol
Avoid0neThing: me too
Avoid0neThing: haha
yellowhemp77: lol
Avoid0neThing: if one of us were a guy we'd be fixed lol
yellowhemp77: this is so true
Avoid0neThing: haha yes
Man I love Trixie she rocks my world!!

But yea anyways.... nothing really new here...Celena is increadably sick of guys right now they don't call or come over and worse yet you can't get em for sex!! Sooo Yea....

Hmmmm........ nothing else I can write about so yea........I'm done!

Time drages on.......

2003-05-22T00:32:40Z

Dude school needs to hury up and end!! I'm freaking sick of seeing teachers and getting out of bed before 12pm! I can't wait till summer starts and I hope it drags on forever! I need to get my arse in gear and get sr. pics done so I can start my dreads ~woo~ I got a hair cut tonight so hopefully it'll be my last!!

I'm going to see the allman brothers this summer my dad got me tickets I'm freaking excited!! If we can convince my mommy I'm gonna go w/ some of my friends to jerry's b-day bash wich would be sweet! I'm gonna try and make this summer awsome and not get myself in touble this year::evil grins:: (not to self: dont get caught)

In other news...... valerie is writing her 1st book which i started to reed the
beginning of it and it's increadably funny! So everyone bug her for a copy!!

I wanna go see ziggy marley soooooo bad but my stupid dad doesnt wanna go to philly ::pouts:: but ohh well........

I need to find katie a nice boyfriend thats not gonna play head games and isn't gonna be an ass.....a nice virgin would be good! Katie needs to be happy!! (note to Dan: your a butt head!) (note to Mike: your a deldondreack!)

I spent the weekend w/ marlett in pittsburgh we had a blast....... the highlight of the weekend was getting a ziggy marley cd for$2.50!! I now know turkey loaf scares me!! I'm seriously afraid of screaming children!! Katie gets scary when she has lots of sugar and no sleep!::raw::

Somebody save me I'm gonna be stuck w/ my family at my uncles camp all weekend for our family reunion...... hell in a bread box......some1 give me drugs!!

Well this be all for now!!
xoxoxo

auspexlilith @ 2003-03-14T19:11:00

2003-03-15T00:27:07Z

You are "When I am Queen". You want
revenge on those who have wronged you, and you
will get it one day. You're a determined
person, and most likely, people fear you. But
you like it that way ;D

Which Jack Off Jill Song Are You?
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living in my world of dreams......

2003-03-06T23:03:11Z

I went to have my prom dress altered today.... the school is so anel.... I don't even know why I bother?!?! maybe its cuz my mother just wants me to be normal...when I'm not even close! now that I'm going I must find a date..... theres a feet in itself, wish this whole process was easier. perhapse im cursed and im destined to never find a bf cuz as its looking i haven't had 1 in a really really long time. boy just dont like me! if theres some1 out there that likes me they'de have to be pritty damn stupid!! i need a way to meet singles or something because im kinda lonely!

I have art class tonight..... i really dont feel like going as usual.... maybe because mrs wall ruined it for me forcing me to paint so much shit i really am not in the mood to do!

mix me an asprin cocktail ill do it the right way.......

2003-02-28T20:51:17Z

im increadably sick of people sometimes i just wanna chase a bottle of asprin with a bottle of vodka just like susana kason in girl interrupted..... i feel like lisa does most of the time its just like im dead emotionally but not yet physically. i cant live in my depressed skin much longer its like being in a nightmare that i never awake from only to relize im pinching myself and im awake. what can i do just to be normal im just driving myself slowly crazy threw the years or am i just to insane to begin with?! sometimes i wish i knew myself. its like living in a complete strangers body and all you know is the motions to barley survive daily life.i wear this mask its covered with feathers and glitter not revealing my face only showing the emotions and the person im not i live as a novilty to the world around me appearing happy strong and carefree.... im not any of these inside im screaming to break free of my exterior to be resolved of my sickness. why cant i be myself when myself is a terrable ugly beast that rears its sharp claws in agony ripping away the flesh and bone of its predicessors..... dripping sad emotions of carless thoughts of sucide into a sour pool thick like blood but so much deeper than the human eye could ever see. im not shallow like that im a deep hole full of cold heartless emotions.

hold me closer tiny dancer......

2003-02-23T03:43:34Z

i don't think we really know ourselfs at all other people do because they can see us and we refuse to see ourselveswe live in our skin for what seems like an eternity and we become so mindless and depressed in it that we dont know who we are im never going to find myself i hate being me some days i just feel like staying in bed and never comming out and facing the world again

i saw ian at the mall this evening..... man i can't help thinking of jordan when i see him..... what can i say i do miss him and still have feelings for him it just like nothing i ever had with anyone ive ever met that time we kissed at the show ide never felt like that before...... its so undescribable i dunno if ill ever really get over him hes such a great and talented person..... but ide never have anything to offer him at all but life goes on and the world keeps turning

i can't help thinking that guys just use me sometimes it seems like every guy i hang out w/ wants sex or what ever and then they dont talk to me or they dick me over and don't return my call but talk to me at school its just shit life in general that is im starting to think love is just something they talk about in fairy tales it never really happens in real life... at least not to people like me im to fucked up

im sick of depression i hate feeling the way i do sometimes i mean im feeling low and if i got anylower ide bottomn out ive tryed to stop cutting because it scares my friends and its making me feel worse i often think about just doing myself in and getting it the hell over w/ sometimes but i know ill prob never work up the balls to just do it its just i want to so bad but i can't ahhh

i don't know anymore life is so fucking confusing i cant stand it

auspexlilith @ 2003-02-15T01:45:00

2003-02-15T06:46:41Z

You're in the Goth box.

What box do you get put in?
brought to you by Quizilla

fuck holidays!!

auspexlilith @ 2003-02-09T19:33:00

2003-02-10T00:35:57Z

Rock on. You're Courtney Love.

What sexy girl are you
brought to you by Quizilla

Ahh it was an increadably boring weekend..... i did absolutly nothing but lay around and sleep. its most likely better this way.... i hate people lately!

swimmings finally over thank god!!

xoxox I Love you!!

auspexlilith @ 2003-02-06T19:03:00

2003-02-08T00:04:00Z

Where do you fall on the liberal - conservative political spectrum? (United States)
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blah blah blah happy birthday bob marley!!!

woo what a weekend.....

2003-01-26T23:32:52Z

Whose Hair are You?
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What Pattern Are You?

I hung out at the house w/ jermey today and yesterday and watched movies.....

It's 2weeks to date that I did my 1st tattoo...yes I did it myself with pen ink and a needle!! I have a pritty getto star on my foot~yay~ other than that I had a swim meet and just sat around! Wasn't really eventfull but its all cool!!

I went to eddie's viewing... I cryed like a baby!! He didnt even look like himself... its so tragic.... I love that kid so much im really gonna miss him!!! i'll remember him always!
::hugs and kisses::
Much love,
Celena

auspexlilith @ 2003-01-22T16:38:00

2003-01-22T21:37:00Z

What Self-Mutilation Are You?
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what's YOUR deepest secret?
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What Planet Are You From?

this quiz was made by The Autist Formerly Known As Tim

You Are Boycut Panties!

Original, funky, and stylish.

You set your own trends.

What's Kind of Panties Are *You*?

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I am the Star

Daily life is harsh, and most of us constantly seek escape from it in fantasies and dreams. Stars feed on this weakness; standing out from others through a distincitve and appealing type, they make us want to watch them. At the same time, they are vague and ethereal, keeping their distance, and letting us imagine more than is there. Their dreamlike quality works on our unconscious. Learn to become an object of fascination by projecting the glittering but elusive presence of the star.

Symbol: The Idol. A piece of stone carved into the shape of a god, perhaps glittering with gold and jewels. The eyes of the worshippers fill the stone with life, imagining it to have real powers. Its shape allows them to see what they want to see - a god - but it actually just a piece of stone. The god lives in their imaginations.

What Type of Seducer are You?
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What color of kitten would you be?</a>
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what fucked version of hello kittie are you?
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::evil looks::

2003-01-19T16:53:30Z

I fucking hate people!!! Espically the preppy chicks on my swim team... I've about had it with all of them honestly! Where do people get off calling me a lesbian when they don't know me from any one?! I swear to god I'm going to fucking kill the girl that said it and i do make that known to anyone! I sick of people going behind my back saying shit and then my friends tell me stuff they said.... if you going to say something say it to my face its not like i can't take it just because I'm outa my fucking mind acording to some people doesn't mean shit! At the end of the season im going to get her fucking ass and shes going to hear it from me I promis you that! If i get myself locked up again so be it the immature winey ass little bitch who think shes such hot shit is going to learn to keep her mouth shut! People just infuriate me I'm done being nice to people they can fuck off and die for all i care!! I'm not dealing with it any longer! FUCK YOU... FUCK YOU ALL!! LEAVE ME ALONE IF YOU CAN'T BE HONEST WITH ME!

It doesn't matter any more i guess im better off just dead or in an assylum!! I just can't stand people being this way any longer!Lock me away and protect me from myself for once I don't want to endure this bullshit anymore! So give me a gun I'll pull the triger for I no longer fear death, I've looked it in the eye so many times befor and im ready to do it again with out turning back. I want to be in a place where nobody can judge me! I'm sick of living this depression i can never break free of this feeling of drug enduced happyness that my only way of living is threw using an emotion mask. I'm already dead emotionally so why not catch my body up?!

auspexlilith @ 2003-01-17T18:18:00

2003-01-17T23:18:13Z

Sammie you're the bestest friend i could ever ask for!! I'm blessed to have some1 in my life like you!!

auspexlilith @ 2002-12-29T21:39:00

2002-12-30T02:37:15Z

What Awesome Ska Band Are You?
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Which Ataris song are you?
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holidays suck

2002-12-28T18:22:22Z

If I were a wine I would be...

This quiz was created by Krazy K. Take it here!

My Dave Matthews Band Song is...

This quiz was created by Krazy K. Take it here!

My Dave Matthews album is...

This quiz was created by Krazy K. Take it here!

auspexlilith @ 2002-12-08T20:46:00

2002-12-09T01:58:22Z

What Is Your True Aura Colour?
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What Smiths Song Are You?
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woah...

2002-12-02T03:05:37Z

how would you commit suicide?

damn thing deleated me before so yea life sucks......shoot me

blah....

2002-09-03T00:49:04Z

my weekend was great!! i went to harrisburgh fri and my fam reunion was sun.... i hung out w/ my gay wiccan cousin wayne...we read tarrot and talked about various things ahh i love him!! all in all not to eventfull...it was cold out!
1st week of school wasn't bad at all my classes are great and so far im not to stresses out! i can't wait till painting class starts up again next week! i hope to go the wiccan book store in state college some time really soon!!!

What obscure band are you?

What Was Your PastLife?

What Obscure Animal are you?

What Spooky Being are You?

blah....

2002-09-03T00:47:57Z

what a wakeup....

2002-08-27T19:54:23Z

well as you know school started yesterday and it wasn't so bad....
its been ages since ive updated this blasted thing... but i needed to vent some stuff ive been thinking about the past few days... its like you don't see how bad things are untill it gets ahold of some1 close to you... my bestfriend that ive know since i was born has hepititus and her liver is enlarged.... its heart breaking to see her go threw it... i just wish it didn't have to happen to her especially w/ her haveing a baby and all. its tragic its a thing like its not going to happen to me im invincable.... but your not if nothing hasn't made an impact on me all summer w/ being grounded and having 3mounths to think i don't know what has?!? its like wow im glad i got out before that happened to me but its to late for her. im just happy i have a family that cares enough to make me see things even though its now always easy to see things that you like as bad( friends, relations, food, etc) but its taken me a lifetime to realize that my mom is right the decisions you make now affect you for the rest of your life. some things have made me a stronger and wiser person but i have learned from my mistakes and ive built upon them and began to turn things around and hopefully ill keep getting better and finally concure my illnesses. but i can only thank 1 person for opening my eyes threw all of this thus far and who knows how long shell have. i think this year is going to be so much less stressful!!!

summer wasn't all that bad i did some art stuff painted my room worked and hung around the house w/ my family. my dad and i went to see dave matthews( great concert) and i went to warped tour w/ bob and pam (great fun)!!! but most of all ive streighted every thing out and started to get things back on track! just 178 more days till vacation wooo... well thats all for now kiddies
*kissies and lickies*
celena

auspexlilith @ 2002-05-12T13:11:00

2002-05-12T17:49:59Z

what type of internet face are you?

</a>.

Your song is...

Cosmic Shame

Set the artist free.
I'm talking about
this artist, in your
fucking HEART;
been in bondage
and in chains for
too long, you
fucking robot
monsters.

Set the artist free!
I'm saying
QUIT YOUR
DAY JOB.

Quiz created by LenPal

What's your Tenacious D song?

Take the Which Cartoon Character on Drugs are you? quiz, by ProtocolDroid.

Take the Which Repulsive Food Item Are You? quiz, by ProtocolDroid.

Take the Which Star Wars Character are you mostly likely to get it on with? quiz, by ProtocolDroid.

How Gay Are YOU? [?]

.....how did this happen?!?!?

i'm a bird.

what kinda pet are you?

quiz made by muna.

im dieing....

2002-05-11T02:35:20Z

alison im dieing w/ u i prob have hepititus now ::pouts::
well here is the story.... i stoped at chuck's house and he screams party dot and shot me w/ an arrow w/ ink on it now.... i have 2 black dots on my arm not to mention that the arrow isn't clean.....im so dying!!

freaking mom wouldn't let me stay at jenn's house so im bumbed cuz i coulda chilled w/ chuck.....::evil grin::
fuck fuck fuck fuck....

life is a beach......

2002-05-09T02:22:25Z

the myrtle beach trip was so awsome.....was very eventful!! who would have thought i could get various men to wear my underware and pose for a picture.....
1)krispy creems ~ best donuts ever
2)josh's gay rave for shreight men~ girls had to rave from the parking gurage
3)josh and dane harassing the widlife by screaming ham and petaphile
4)it's 2am who wants pizza
5)5 most often heard words...alison put some clothes on
6)toto died~ your eating my dog... scilent film
7)bombs away...we enjoyed throwing tampons and various things at josh from the balcony
8)frapichino was a disaster alison ::sigh::
9)the horseshoe crabs mate for 3months alison hahah.... that one i kissed didn't like me
10)the maids only speek spanish alison why didn't u know soap hehehe.....why couldn't they understand german
11)wonder how many people we can fit in the refridgerator.....we got 4 w/ heather in the freezer
12)heather had to leave behind the lamp
13)i take 1...1...1 cuz you left me.....love that song(kiss off)
14)tp~ing the room at 2am while playing monkey in the middle
15)chaperones swimming at 1:30 herb saves the day
16) jelly fish
17)neon mullet
18) we didn't look all that chrision in frount of the christian store
19)alison's increadable search for signs....
20)beth was good in bed...... she didn't steal the blankits or kick
21)alison singing spice up you life while we sleep
22)damn cell phones wouldn't pick up reception
23)chaif be gone for josh and jeff
24) brest pasties
25)alison's deseased earring....see u didn't die from it ali

ahhh what a great trip!!! anyhting else i forgot....let me know this is the things i remembered so.....im alittle late!!

jordan hates me.....he won't return my calls...i still love him!!

AUSPEXLILITH: hey
boluva182: hey
AUSPEXLILITH: whats going on
boluva182: not alot sitting here board as hell
boluva182: how bnout you
AUSPEXLILITH: same
boluva182: I love you
AUSPEXLILITH: i love u 2
boluva182: were going to get married
AUSPEXLILITH: really...when
boluva182: like now
boluva182: come to my house
AUSPEXLILITH: how am i going to get there
boluva182: I dont but when you do I am going to do you, then were leaving
AUSPEXLILITH: alright
boluva182: ok I am serious
AUSPEXLILITH: i know
boluva182: do you think you could get here
AUSPEXLILITH: yea.....maybe
boluva182: when
AUSPEXLILITH: i don't know....i can't drive...don't have my licence
boluva182: steal a car
AUSPEXLILITH: uhh no
AUSPEXLILITH: hehe
AUSPEXLILITH: umm....... u can always come here
boluva182: I would have to steal a car though
AUSPEXLILITH: ahh
AUSPEXLILITH: ull have to visit me at work this summer
boluva182: yeah
AUSPEXLILITH: im working as a life guard at delgrosso's park
boluva182: awsome
AUSPEXLILITH: yea
AUSPEXLILITH: u gonna come see me
boluva182: we its you in a swit suit cant pass that one up
AUSPEXLILITH: awe alright
boluva182: man someday, were going to hook uyp
AUSPEXLILITH: yea
boluva182: your really hott
AUSPEXLILITH: ::blush:: so r u
AUSPEXLILITH: ::muah::
boluva182: muah
AUSPEXLILITH: awe
boluva182: I love you celena
AUSPEXLILITH: i love u dan
boluva182: we should find away to meet tonigth and go to cali
AUSPEXLILITH: what ru nutz
boluva182: no why
AUSPEXLILITH: asking hehe
boluva182: are you
AUSPEXLILITH: yea hehe
boluva182: then lets do it
AUSPEXLILITH: yea right 1 my mom would kill 2 we don't have $ 3 no ride
boluva182: I have money
AUSPEXLILITH: alright

dan is a sweetheart.....none the less crazy...he scares me hehe.... i miss the ppl from the meadows!!

i like chuck again i think....i heard from a reliable person that he likes me woooo...

thats all for now night kiddies